Repression means to not allow or deny. It is like wearing the iron mask.

Signs of repression or placing a child and teenager in a control box.

Eight freedoms that are not allowed or forbidden.

These include feelings, voice, needs, wants, dreams, choices, perceptions and self awareness.

1.Repressed feelings – I will not feel-control emotions and especially repressed anger. Repressed anger results in depression.

2.Repressed voice-doubt and undermine your own opinions.

3.Repressed needs-I will not need and shut down and fail to trust self- awareness.

4.Repressed wants-I will not be in touch with my desires.

5.Repressed dreams-loss of hope of a positive future. Bad things happen to me.

6.Repressed choices-controlled and not allowed to grow up into adulthood.

7.Repressed perceptions so you doubt what you see and it is you that must be crazy.

8. Repressed self -awareness-taught to squash any self- awareness thus you are disconnected from true self and you internalise your parents crazy identity or spouses identity.

Repression by spiritual abuse is common among Christians.
The net result of this is a disconnection from your unique self or identity and your natural self is subjugated. Therefore, repressed children tend to hold onto a false self.

A person becomes attached to the false image as they are afraid if they seek to attach to true self because they are so used to being not real, that they fear they are really fake and empty.

Satan attacks our radical difference because attachment to our uniqueness imparts true worth to us that was designed by God. Disassociation and numbing results from repression alongside hyper vigilance, that activates a flight or fight mechanism. This becomes a survival strategy and defensive armour as the person seeks a safe place. The true self feels it has bled to death. Shaming and abandonment trauma often accompanies repression to form a shamed based and abandoned identity.

These repressions become our hiding places as we fear to be our true or unique selves. Due to repression we do not know who we are. The false self is a crazy mirror, yet a false one, but it has been internalised. We internalise our parents by mirroring and God seeks to re-parent us by healing the breaches of trust and re-mirroring us.

Unbelief and repression become guardians at the gate to prevent attachment to the unique self.

1. First we need to be made aware of the armour we hold onto as part of our safe place and security to bring stability. In order to renounce these hiding places of false security, stability and safety we need to be re-mirrored. We need three things to grieve and let go of the past which are a) empathy b) validation, c) vindication and d) insightful sharing.

2. Through listening to the counselees stories we can find out what is their true self and re-mirror them. The client must affirm what you are seeing in terms of character qualities, competencies and personality.

3. Example of a person who healed trauma in horses, yet needed healing from toxic shame and chronic trauma. The following qualities and competencies I could see in them as they told me how they healed horses from trauma-see separate sheet.

4. The crazy mirror needs to be smashed along with the internalised identity that is false. Until the person can see the true identity clearly, then they cannot let go of the false identity. Separation of identity needs to occur from parents. A breach of trust occurs due to a lack of safety, security and stability, alongside a gap of there being no interpersonal bridge built. Trust between the counsellor and with God is the life stage they need to build. Trusting their own perceptions, feelings, awareness of own needs is vital as their unique identity has been frozen or smashed in pieces. A renouncement of parenting rights needs to be made alongside identification repentance of the parents repression and traumatising. This all needs to be nailed to the cross along with the carnal thinking that goes with it. The carnal thinking is the defence mechanisms or false armour to protect. A person needs new amour to protect themselves.

5. Separation of identity occurs through the cross.

6. A re-parenting process with God is needed whereby they call out of the house of horrors the wounded child to enter the House of God. Ask the Fathering mothering God to re-parent you as He is not a male deity. A lost childhood means a loss of fun, being carefree, being able to make mistakes with no shame attached and able to dance around the throne, without treading on eggshells.

7. Trust that the new self and unique person will be accepted and loved. Identity in Christ enables us to bond to our unique identity.